by Victoria Cepeda and Efrain Nieves
As it is often the case, while researching on potential topics to write about, I bumped into an article titled “10 Signs that He Has Fallen in Love with you”, or something along those lines. Though not one prone to follow advice seen on cheesy columns, I admit that this time I clicked on the link so fast that my screen froze. All we have to do is take a look around us to find friends, or ourselves, in their late thirties who have never been married, who are divorced or unable to maintain a long term relationship. Some people are plain petrified of the dating scene hence the reason why there are so many bachelors and baccalaureates well into their mid to late 30s. Reasons are a dime a penny and the answers vary depending on who you ask.
So we decided to put together a list of “What Women/Men Want” in the hopes to reach some level of agreement and, why not, add a light note to the beginning of the week.
What Women Want in a Man
1. Not be left alone all night while her man is out partying with the “boys”. Spending time apart is healthy granted. However time spent with the “boys” should be proportional to the time spent out with your girl.
2. Team work – gender roles are outdated. Women, on average, appreciate the help with laundry, dishes, cooking, children’s homework, grocery shopping etc. Yes, I am aware that we’ve come a long way but my objective is to encourage teamwork.
3. Listening skills – do not tune us out. We can tell when you do. The consequence will be a “fine” answer to your “what’s wrong” question. Therefore, tread lightly
4. Affection – a rub in the back of the neck, shoulders and a hug will go miles. Sometimes just cuddling in the couch is all we want.
5. Sports/Life Balance – more and more women enjoy sports this is not a general statement. However, and you know who you are, guys try to balance the time fairly. Sporting events come and go but a person that is willing to spend time with you and accepts you for who you are seldom does.
6. Understanding our hormonal changes – yes some of us can become a two headed medusa at certain times of the month. Back away slowly and return when the waters have receded.
7. Respect for each other’s families –This is vital in ensuring a healthy and stable relationship in my view.
8. Do not forget what brought you two together – keeping that flame burning is challenging but forgetting to do so will lead to complacency and eventually to indifference. We all know what follows next.
9. Honesty – this word never gets old for a reason. Sometimes people fall out of love and stay together for convenience or for the kids. The harm done can reach your bone marrow.
10. Communication – we know that women and men express themselves differently so what is important is to be able to discuss issues openly. If we do communicate we cannot improve nor sustain an unbreakable bond.
What Men Want in a Woman
1. There is nothing like a confident woman who is secure about herself. An insecure woman brings much drama and baggage. Don’t blame us for the last man’s faults. We won’t leave you alone if you don’t make us feel like you want to be alone.
2. Team work is a plus. But do not get too comfy ladies. We like our women to stay as we met. Energetic, fun and spontaneous. Just because we help does not mean we took over. Help is just that, HELP.
3. No problem with listening but stay on topic. You lose us when you stray off. Make it interesting, we are not your BFF’s so gossip will make the mental earplugs turn on.
4. The rubbing and hugging is great but ladies, stop thinking every time we touch you we want sex. It turns us off and scares men away from affection. If we hug you and you feel we want something more but you do not, simply lay on our chest. It’s the neutral corner.
5. We have no problem with balance as long as there is no interference when sports come on. We throw the flag when there is interruption and now we have to check stats, sports websites all the unnecessary stuff that will take time away from you.
6. We understand but don’t confuse us. If you need your time simply say it. Looks and attitude will make us upset and a bad day will begin. Oh, and when we back away do not question it. Makes things more frustrating.
7. We love family as long as they are far away. We do not need them in our relationship only in our lives. Once they get involved, respect is out.
8. We want the same thing. Refer to number 1.
9. Do not avoid questions. When you do that we know you’re hiding and afraid to lie. We start hiding the truth if we feel you are.
10. We love to talk but only if you seem interested. If you give us faces or do not excuse yourself and walk away, we lose interest in talking at all.
photo from torontospeeddate.com
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